I can hardly stand how pleased I am already, just two chapters in, with the brilliant Master and Margarita. True, I was excited about it just from hearing Rusty make quiet exclamations of wonder, surprise, and sometimes what-the-heck-is-going-on-here while reading on the couch. I knew I’d be drawn in the moment he said it bounced from 1930s Moscow in chapter 1 right on over to Pontius Pilate sentencing Jesus to death in Jerusalem in chapter 2. (I’m a real sucker for an imaginative take on the old Jesus story. Love me some Last Temptation.)

But I’m not just drawn in, I’m downright delighted. This Mikhail Bulgakov guy could really write!

And yes, you guessed it. I’m self-conscious about the fact that I did not know about Bulgakov (1891-1940) or Master and Margarita before Rusty stumbled upon the book. Reminder to self: one undergrad class on [insert subject, in this case Russian lit] does not make you an expert.

Not that I need that reminder. I spend a lot of time thinking about what I’ve learned in my 58 years and what I haven’t, and sometimes the breadth of my ignorance blows my mind.

I’m not being self-deprecating, I’m just thinking about how trippy it is. Like when you find the perfect spot on a hill or the beach far from city lights, and you lie there staring up at the sky at 2 a.m. A scattering of stars becomes a tapestry, and the vastness of the universe reveals itself to you, and you feel some part of you — your soul? — pulsing beyond the bounds of your body.

I love that. It’s wondrous. Next to falling in love it’s my favorite feeling in the world. Life, the universe, and everything: it’s more than you can comprehend, you can’t fit it all into your small brain or your ridiculously short lifetime.* And yes, I’m talking to you geniuses and you high achievers, too. We’re all so freaking small when you look at the big picture, yet here we are striving for things and feeling the buzz of being alive, at least some of the time. Have you ever climbed a mountain pass and found yourself alone up there with a view of wilderness for as far as the eye can see, or jumped out of an airplane and seen the curvature of the earth? These are the moments I believe in something — not God but… Godness?

That’s what I mean when I say my ignorance blows my mind. It’s dizzying to consider all the history, science, literature, art, and human experience beyond my ken. And while I’m a little self-conscious, as I said, about not knowing this book existed until a month ago, mostly I’m just grateful it was written, grateful it was published (it took 30 years!), grateful Russ heard about it, and super, duper happy to be reading it. It’s so good!

If you’ve read it, let me know in the comments.

And oh! One more thing: Did you know one of the greatest rock & roll songs of all time was based on The Master and Margarita? Stick that in your back pocket for trivia night!

*Or… does it all just add up to 42?